THE CRASH THAT LEAD TO THE CREATION
Hi, I'm Tegan Brampbell.
At the beginning of this year my body crashed, in probably one of the most embarrassing ways it can for a girl, for anybody really. I’m keeping medical labels out (as she tried to make herself more mysterious and also be pragmatic because without a label she becomes easier to identify with…as she stops speaking in third person…)KEEPING MEDICAL LABELS aside, all you need to know is that I vomit like a grade nine girl at her first park party, I have horrible cramps, eye altering nausea, no idea wtf is happening in my bowels along with other peculiar side effects such as night sweats, rashes, eye inflammations, bleeding and more. Ain’t it fun being young?
But it’s not. To be candid, being sick sucks and I all of a sudden have a new found sympathy for the boring brat boy in Secret Garden.
MY TIPPING POINT, HAPPY BARFDAY.
My Birthday is a big deal to me. My birthday is the day after St Patrick’s day. When I was younger I found the adventure of March Break coinciding with my birthday celebrations thrilling. When I was older, the party excitement of St Patrick’s day was just blissfully perfect. Regardless of my age my birthday celebration has always been piggybacking a great party. Step in to my party shoes for a moment.
It is 11:59. You have spent your day drinking cold green beer, eating green pancakes with sweet maple syrup, and everyone is punch drunk and loving. All your friends, even most strangers, are dressed up in your favourite way! With silly glasses, sparkles, face paint, and hilarious combinations of green. As the clock strikes 12, the very first minute of the day of your birth, you yell out "It's my birthday", and all your closest friends hug you, and strangers cheer in the background, and everyone raises their half spilt glasses of warm beer to the air. Later on you know these kids will all be hung over in their rooms, and you will lure them out with pizza and party hats and together you will lounge and gossip about the previous days events. It's basically magic.
This is relevant I SWEAR. This year I refused for this fun event to fade due University being over, to new full time jobs and spread out geography. I did the only logical thing a girl could do. I rented out a bar and invited everyone I knew over a month in advance. I love being around my friends and family and everyone having a good time while showering me with adoration. I know I get a bit narcissistic but if I admit to it, my narcism could almost be cute…
The day before the big event I had to pull the plug. I was laid out on the couch, unable to eat, face swollen from persistent vomiting. I tried to convince my friend Faith, who had heard I was feeling unwell and stopped by, to tie my photo to a mop and just place me against a corner. But some parties can’t go on and I was devastated. I know it’s a bit pathetic but I had held on to my birthday as a beacon of hope, if I could just get to my party things would be ok. And I couldn’t.
Then I started talking. I started telling my friends, family members, and co-workers about my body. I started cracking jokes or telling stories, asking advice or plain out crying. The most unexpected thing was that my own friends started sharing their secretive journey with ongoing illnesses.
THE BLOG
I once read in a Buzzfeed article how grief makes you apart of the most exclusive club no one wants to be in. A life effecting illness is the same deal, different club.
Finally, (I know what you are all thinking, ‘Get to the GOOD SHIT Tegan - see what I did there? ;) Talking about these awkward moments has helped me laugh, keep my spirits up, create some good art, and connect with others while not getting down in the dumps about the things you can’t control. I bet there are a ton of girls out there with shitty bowels and poor stomachs just enduring the slow embarrassing shit (the pun makes me giggle every time) that I have. Let’s share it. Let us all be gut sister and brothers.
Enjoy my stories, they may be crazy but I promise you they happened to me and they are real.
Stay Gutsy,
Tegan <3