As most people do, I have lost my cool a few times. The thing about losing your cool is that no one really knows you are losing it until you have actually lost it. And then the gates to hell are open and there is no turning back. I would like to share a story of me losing my cool because I find it particularly funny.
It happened on the first long weekend of the summer. My friend had kindly invited a group of gals and guys to his cottage. It was going to be the kick off to a summer of cottage weekends, drinking beer, tanning in the sun, wakeboarding and skinny-dipping. I was a bit hesitant to go, as northern bathrooms are always unreliable. But I told my gal pals my hesitation and they assured me it would all be ok. In case a dire circumstance arose we even had a code question that would be sly enough to alert other that I was in distress with out looking like I was in…well distress. I was set.
It was all going swimmingly. As the crew drank their beer I sipped my Berry Poppin’s tea as if it were sangria, I ate my health conscious food and had a blast. We played all my favourite games and I remember being happy I came. HERE. This is the moment I should have called it a night. But I didn’t. At one moment I felt my stomach lurch – and I headed to the only bathroom to toss my cookies. As my fears had foreshadowed – I clogged the bathroom with my own vomit. GROSS. I was mortified. I began to feel that blood draining sensation of panic as I realized there was no plunger. I really didn’t know the guys THAT well and would rather die than alert him of the situation. I wasn’t even drunk! Luckily, everyone else was so I tried to fix it as best I could (I think I did fix it - because no one else mentioned it...) and decided if I hadn't fixed it, the whole situation could easily be blamed on one of the drunk boys. Atta girl, point the finger and redirect the blame. #girlsgottadowhatagirlsgottado.
This event depleted most of my cool. I then tucked into bed as the party ragged on. This tired, soar, state is no good for anyone. I couldn't sleep and since I'm human, I started fixating on the negative.
First I had forgotten my meds. I cursed myself as the pain in my gut and nausea over whelmed me. I had put the key in Hade's front gate.
Then I turned to hate. I felt like Ayria before getting ready for sleep by listing off her future assassinations like a prayer.
I hated that person that keep turning the music up.
I hated that they were swing dancing.
I hated that I was not dancing – as my dance skills are superb.
I hated that person who was laughing too loud.
I hated that person had chosen this horrible music.
I hated that no one noticed it was 4 in the morning.
I hated that no one else was trying to sleep.
I hated that they all had endless energy.
I hated that person that did crashed but was drunk enough to sleep through the noise.
The final thought the thing that pushed me over the edge. The thought that blasted the gates open and made me officially lose my cool with tears and heavy sobs was this.
I hated that person that made us give our phones in at the start of the weekend. How was I suppose to alert my troops that I was upset when THAT PERSON had FORCED us to give up our communication device. I hated how I was tricked into thinking it was such a great idea and in the moment liked how we all ‘disconnected’ from the mobile world. I LET US DISCONNECT. WHY WOULD I AGREE TO SUCH A HORRIBLE IDEA WITH EASE!?
At this moment my good friend Skyler came in. I recounted my list of hate for her while hot tears ran down my face. Saying this list out load to an audience really cemented how ridiculous I had become. Just a vivid memory of looking at Skyler in the eyes, so upset, “HE MADE US GIVE UP OUR PHONES!” To her credit, she held in most of her laughter.
We laugh about it now because as alarming as a tantrum in your twenties can be, it’s also slightly hilarious. It also showed me my limits. If I wanted to keep my friends, and my sanity, a long party weekend was not going to be in the books for the rest of the summer. It sucked, but Aryia Stark is not a happy girl and she does not belong in a small cabin in the woods with 15 other people. THAT is just asking for trouble.
Stay Gutsy,
<3 Tega
