Baby I'm Back

 As my five fearless followers pointed out to me, I recently password protected this blog. 

I got embarrassed.  I got sad.  I got mad at my situation.  It stopped being funny to me.  I got lonely.  I felt isolated and was really unsure how to ask for company or how to conduct myself.  I started getting anxious.  I started fretting about SPELLING MISTAKES!  I was getting frustrated I didn’t have the energy to find them.  I was getting upset that I was too nauseous to write new posts.  I was too disheartened to post the many posts I had already written.  I didn’t find my writing funny but pathetic and annoying

And yet I didn’t delete my blog because I still wanted to do it. 

As some of you may know it is one of my favourite things in the world for people to read to me.  Therefore I have a healthy love affair with audio books.  I have just finished “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert.  These words of wisdom have convinced me to start up my online diary yet again.  To yes the opportunity to write.  To write because I don’t have a reason for doing it other than I want to.

Here are the words the resinated me.  They may just resinate with you too. 

I recently spoke to a woman who said “I’m almost ready to start writing my book but I’m having trouble trusting that the universe will grant me the outcome I want” Well what could I tell her? I hate to be a buzz kill but the universe might not grant her what she wants. With out a doubt the universe will grant her some kind of outcome. Spiritually minded people would even argue that universe will probably grant her the outcome she needs, but it might not grant her the outcome she wants. Fierce trust demands that you put forth the work any how because fierce trust knows that the outcome does not matter. The outcome can not matter. Fierce trust asks you to stand strong with in this truth…You will keep making your work regardless of the outcome, you will keep sharing your work regardless of the outcome. You were born to create, regardless of the outcome. You will never love trust in the creative process even when you don’t understand the outcome…What do you love doing so much that the words failure and success essentially become irrelevant? What do you love even more than you love your own ego? How fierce is your trust in that love? You might challenge this idea of fierce trust…you might demand of it, “Why should I go through all the trouble to make something if the outcome might be nothing?”. The answer will usually come with a grin, because it’s fun isn’t it? Anyhow, what else are you going to do with your time here on earth?
— Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

So I am back people!

 

Stay Gutsy,

<3 Tegan